SPOOKED!!!

           There were a few times on the trail I was a little concerned for my safety, but only one time did I legitimately get the heeby jeebies.  I was hiking somewhere in Virginia when this all went down.  Big miles were easier at that point.  It was cloudy all day and I decided to sit down right on the trail for lunch.  There was a shelter nearby, but I didn't want to waste any time getting there.  As I sat and started to shiver, as I did everyday during lunch because I had the worst luck with weather, I heard hooves impacting the ground behind me in the direction of the shelter.  This noise was joined by what I can only describe as a hillbilly lingo.

"Am I in your way?" I asked the Santa-looking man on the first horse.

He squealed, "Nah, yew gud feller."

            I didn't know if that was the man or the horse that responded, so I just remained still and observed as a scraggly old woman on a horse followed without saying a word or acknowledging me.  Her horse's eyes were very wide and it looked scared.  Last in line was a man who looked punier than I did.  Most of his teeth were gone and the ones that were left had rot around their bases.  He was wrinkly, but I think he was younger than he looked as a result of not aging well.  And by not aging well, I think he smoked two packs a day since he was 5.

"Yew all by yasef?" Santa asked.

"I am."

            Why did he ask that?  Why did I TELL him that?  They didn't seem threatening, but something was just offsetting to me.  I eyeballed them as they went out of sight in the same direction I had to go.  Not wanting to lose sight of them, I moved as quickly and quietly behind them to make sure I wasn't about to get ambushed by the descendents of the Donner Party or be a part of the Deliverance sequel.  Their tracks went onto a side trail perpendicular to the AT south so I was in the clear... for now.

            I kept moving at a good pace until it was time to stop for a snack.  At this point of the trail I had it down to a science.  Well not exactly.  I just took the Forest Gump approach and ate when I was hungry, stopped when I was tired, etc.  I came upon a shelter directly on the trail.  Convenience is always nice.  It was called the War Spur Shelter and it looked ancient.  I put my pack down on the picnic table next to a journal that hikers used to communicate with each other, grabbed some wet wipes and went to the privy.

            The privy was decrepit with much of the wood rotting from the bottom much like ole Jebidiah's teeth.  I opened the door and as I was about to take one step in...

"FUUUUUUCK! FUCK! FUCK! HELLLLLL NO!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

            There was a large spider dangling a few feet above where I wanted to sit down, juuuuuust waiting for me all like, "Hey friend, come on in and sit riiiiight here. It's safe (wink)!"  It resembled a brown recluse, but I wasn't aware they were "danglers."  Times must be tough for killer spiders to be hanging out in the shitter.  This wasn't the first time a spider ruined my image of safely going #2 in a privy and it was the last time I attempted to use one. 

I was so startled that I jumped back and slammed the door.  I walked into the woods to do my business and then went back to the picnic table to have a snack.  I sat on top of the table and faced the shelter standing only a few feet away.  As I ate, I looked at the journal that was placed inside a large zip-lock bag.  I noticed a hand written note was placed onto of the journal so I read that first.  Paraphrasing:  On August 25 (estimated and it was only a couple of weeks before I got there) two southbound thru hikers came here and saw a man hunched over the picnic table facing the shelter. 

Wait a minute.  I'm sitting down facing the shelter.  My eyes widen.

The man was deceased with no sign of a struggle.  His glasses were on the table and his stove was set up as if he was about to eat.  The two hikers went back to a road and contacted a ranger before moving on. 

As I realize I'm sitting in the same spot where there was a dead guy, I read an additional note beneath the original that looked like different handwriting.

"We are the family of the deceased hiker from August that was found here.  We just wanted to see where he passed away doing what he loved."

I slowly stopped chewing my snack and realized I hadn't been this spooked since I discovered a mass grave in Iraq.  How did he die?!  Was it that bastard spider in the privy?  Was it the hillbillies on horses?  Should I avenge him and kill the spider?  What if the spider is a ninja?  I don't want to fight a ninja spider.  I'm outta here!  I packed my things and got out of there as fast as I could... completely creeped the fuck out and randomly spazzing by flailing my arms, shaking my head and grunting, "eh.... ew.... ah."  Nothing like a cloudy day with creepy hillbillies, possible ghosts and ninja spiders.